Why So Serious?

In any organization, the question of “Who has the most stressful job?” is often difficult to determine. We tend to think of the “most stressful job” as whoever has the most responsibility; however, there are any number of ways in which to think through demanding jobs. Unfortunately, the stress of our positions (regardless of our role in the organizational hierarchy) often leads us to taking ourselves incredibly seriously. Regardless of our position, this is a bad look that can have serious consequences throughout our organizations.

The root of taking oneself too serious usually begins with a desire for control. This is a rational reaction to the experience of an irrational world: when we can account for every variable, we tend to make smart and strong decisions. However, the future is necessarily undecidable—and so, too, is business (otherwise, there would be no room for growth!). Realizing this, we turn our attention inward. Our job becomes our source of security, and we control our appearance by being so serious, all the time. What we fail to notice is that our desire for control has left us as the least secure person in the entire room!

What does it look like when one is taking oneself too seriously? This condition manifests itself in any number of ways, but the common theme is overestimating how needed you are at any given moment. For example, no one needs to be a participant in every single meeting. Similarly, if you avoid any situations where you may look foolish or believe that your goals are more important than others’, you may have lost some critical perspective. The real issue with taking ourselves too seriously is that it warps our worldview—and this makes us vulnerable as leaders and as human beings.

Have you ever wondered why it is that the more confident a person appears, the less serious they seem to take themselves? These people lead with both self-security and self-sufficiency. There is no need to overcompensate because they accept a wider range of outcomes. For example, there are hundreds of articles dedicated to the notion that failure in business is actually a positive. For people who take themselves too seriously, however, failure functions as a threat to the ego, eliminating the possibility for failure to serve as a learning opportunity.

So how should you act when your position becomes especially stressful or your start to feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities? Take a deep breath and remember who you are beneath your work attire. Ask the colleagues and friends you are closest to for help; try inviting them out for dinner or attending a work social. Look for opportunities to collaborate with your team as a reminder that there are other valuable perspectives that you miss when you make it all about yourself.

Put simply: there are very few jobs that require taking oneself too seriously (some examples would be: pediatric cardiologist or the individual who carries the U.S. nuclear suitcase). Confidence and occasional arrogance are one thing—when you make taking yourself too seriously your entire personality, you have gone too far. So instead, match your confidence with humility and project a quiet confidence to your coworkers. You will be amazed at how many people will gravitate toward you then.