The never-ending ladder: An argument for slowing down the climb

I steam milk for my third cappuccino of the morning before jumping on a call with Yashar. I’ve been consulting only a fraction of the time he has, but with a background in journalism I know that the most impactful tool in my career is asking questions and finding people with experience and a willingness to reflect and answer those questions.

I’m looking to grow, looking to learn, looking to climb the infamous ladder, so I kick it off right away.

Morning Yash! I’ve been wondering … what made you leave the world of “big consulting” and build your own company?

“In the beginning I loved it. The drive, the constant hunt for achievement. I would spend 15 hours a day working, focusing on how to get into the next stage of my career. I set myself the goal that I would consult for 3 years, be a partner in 5. Artificial goals, but I believed in them. I genuinely believed that what I did was important.”

Yash chuckles and shakes his head. I don’t really get it. This is me; I set high-to-reach goals for myself, and I experience defeat if I don’t manage; I’d rather work myself to shreds than not reach the finish line.

“…but Ida. We don’t operate on babies. Nothing but a timeline will be impacted. Nobody gets hurt, nobody is in pain, it’s just a restructuring of expectations. So what? I don’t make partner in 5 years; boo-hoo. Don’t get me wrong, it took 8-10 good years from me to get to that realization. And in that time, it became ever more clear that I wasn’t made for that world.”

What made you realize?

"We were working with a British client. Just like my company, his company was built on this false sense of urgency. I think sometimes people create this crazy level of importance and gravity of their job in order to justify the sense of stress they feel. But it’s all artificial.

Anyway, this client of mine, we’re in a meeting and he casually mentions how he’s missing his daughter’s birthday party and his anniversary, all in one week, just to be there, working with me.

   My brain clicked, but I wasn’t sure how to divert from my path and I was still climbing that metaphorical corporate ladder. Dismounting felt impossible."

But you did eventually dismount that ladder?

"I did. I had been more wary of each step for a while. Years. And then, when I finally reached what I thought was the top step, I was not only presented with a continuing ladder, but a post-nuptual agreement. A majority of partners end up divorced, as it turns out, and the companies will protect themselves by making you sign this document along with your spouse; practically assuming an impending divorce.

   That was the final straw. I thought 'but I’m not leaving my wife. She’s not leaving me. My family is more important than all of this'. And that’s also the moment I had the realization that the only thing I learned from climbing on that ladder was how much I disliked the ladder itself.”

It takes me a moment to collect my list of answers from here. This perspective is so foreign to my previous work experience, where I was encouraged to stay late, spend weekends checking in, always face a goal to grow into. I finally gather my thoughts.

But how do you set goals and grow if you don’t stay on that ladder? Set expectations for yourself to meet?

"I've had the privilege of working with some incredibly talented individuals who have taken anything but a linear path to success. They still meet their goals, but what they get along the way is experience, perspective…and most importantly freedom. We can still create goals in order to build a path to follow, but instead of wondering what we gain from the goal, I think it’s important to shift your gaze to what you achieve while getting to the point of being ready for that next rung up on the ladder.

This false sense of entitlement and urgency that is so prevalent in the business world today leads you to nothing but a premature heart attack. That phone call can wait if you’re in a conversation. You’re not so important that the company falls apart if you don’t give them 15 hours of your day. You’re just not. It’s a false image, projected onto us by managers and companies to make us feel crucial to the mission, but in reality the world keeps spinning and the tasks keep piling on, no matter if we take that call or not. Let it ring. Call back later.

You’ll reach your goals. And you can and should set them, but don’t sprint there. Take the scenic route, because I promise you: Once you make it there, everyone will appreciate your views, your perspective, and the lessons you learned getting there."